Monday Gripe: Naked Maternity Photos

Warning now! This may offend some of you, in more ways than one. If you’re easily offended feel free to divert your eyes now. Go ahead.

Below is just a pretty picture to fill up space and give you time to move on.

Still with me?

Great!

Now let’s discuss my Monday Gripe, Uncomfortable (mostly Awkward) Maternity Photos. You’ve seen them I bet. They get posted to Facebook, Pinterest, even that classy place Google+ has seen its fair share of these pics. I am not talking about a picture of an expected mom in a field of flowers with Old Navy dress on belly cupping her unborn. I’m talking about an expected mom in a field of flowers butt ass naked belly cupping her unborn. Now I realize some of these nude shots can be completely tasteful and artistic but most that wind up on the internet are not. In fact I think the tasteful ones are hidden from the internet or wind up in Vogue. The worst offenders are when the dad gets involved.

The most common shot is both mom and dad topless with dad behind mom cupping her bare breasts.

 

 

(Rosalie’s Note: If you didn’t know this is a maternity photo, you’d think it’s porn or making of a porn or stills from a porn with great lighting. Right?)

 

 

 

 

As if to show all their horrified Facebook friends exactly how the baby came to be. And those are the tame ones. I thought about posting some of the worst offenders, but since these people are civilians I felt it would just be mean. But I implore you all to do a quick Google Image search of naked maternity pics and you’ll see what I mean. Or you can go to this guy’s blog post! He has some real gems in there.

http://ididafunny.com/50-weirdest-pregnancy-photos-ever/2/

My real question is why put it on the internet? These pics seem to give off the impression of intimacy. Internet and intimacy to me at least just don’t go hand in hand.

I think Rosalie coined it best when she said that these pics will probably be the glamour shots of the next generation. There are entire tumblers and blog post dedicated to the absurdity of the Glamour Shot pose. And I will admit that when I was a tween I wanted a Glamour Shot SO bad, but sadly never got one. I still kind of wish I had one so I could get in on the OMG what was I thinking fun. Which makes me wonder, if I was pregnant now would I want these bare all pics? Maybe, hopefully not, but I can’t say for sure because I have been prone to do cheesy ass shit before. Like go to JC Penny with my husband and child and do that weird pose in a pic where we all kind of lay half down with our feet in the air and our arms propped under our heads. You know the pose! I bet most of you have done it. It’s cheesy as hell, but some photographer out there told you to do it and so you did.

I blame celebrities for this trend. I bet  Farrah Fawcett inspired the Glamour Shots of yesterday and I am willing to bet Demi, Brittney, and Mariah are what sparked this awkward trend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note: HWL tries to stay off hot topics. I realize fully that pregnancy can be one of them. Please note all comments and corny jokes are meant for funny haha’s and written in jest. And remember I gave you an out at the beginning of the post. 😉

Tagged: 2014, Awkward Maternity Photos, Celebrity Maternity Photos, Matertiny Photos, Monday Gripe